As I mentioned in my about me, my life is crazy. Life in general is crazy. I have been divorced and remarried. I have 4 children (2 from my first marriage and 2 from my current one). I have a 16 year old son, a 13 year old daughter, a 3 year old son, and a 1 year old daughter. My kids keep me super busy and sometimes drive me super crazy, but I love them anyways. They are my world! I am a stay at home mom right now. Before my last 2 kids, I was working as a registered nurse. I loved my job, but I had the amazing opportunity to stay home and take care of my kids, so I took it.
Now I have worked full time and been a stay at home mom full time, so I know all about the SAHM/working mom debate. They both have their ups and downs, but I will say being a SAHM is lonely sometimes. Some days it is so mind-boggling. And some days it is so rewarding. But I have the luxury of being able to take my kids to all of their appointments, and practices, and watch all of their games and other activities, and drive them back and forth to friends houses without having to worry about work, so I do it. Someday I would like to go back to work, but for now I am here.
We travel quite a bit with my daughter’s all star cheer team, as well as our family vacations to the beach and Disney. We are Disney junkies and take a trip to Disney World about once a year. We also camp during the summer, mostly at our local state park because it is our favorite and it’s close to home. Sometimes I forget about the places we’ve been, because quite honestly I have the worst memory in the world. It annoys my family sometimes and other times it frustrates me. I think documenting the places we go to will help me to at least remember some details about our journeys. And it could be something for my kids to look back on.
I have also been struggling with anxiety and depression. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after my first daughter was born, but I quickly got past it and had been fine. I had my second 2 kids when I was older and it was not quite so easy getting pregnant. I lost someone very dear to me right before I found out I was pregnant with my last child. I began having nightmares and worrying about things I never worried about before. It got worse after my daughter was born and I finally decided to get help. It took a lot because I am a very stubborn person and I absolutely hate admitting when something is wrong. But I knew I wasn’t being my best self and found myself crying in my doctors office one day about everything that was happening. I was prescribed medication and found myself feeling better and better every day.
When I felt myself slipping backwards again, I started exercising. I didn’t want to add any more medication, and since my post baby weight was one thing bringing me down, I thought why not? It has definitely helped me so much in feeling better and the great circle of women that I exercise with is awesome. They are so positive and supportive, and I know we all could use that in our lives.
Some days I have all the energy in the world and feel so happy that I don’t think anything could bring me down. Some days I feel so overwhelmed that I don’t think I can catch my breath. And some days I just don’t even want to crawl out of bed, but I drag myself out anyways because I know I have people depending on me. I think a lot of people can relate to that. I still have bad days, but I’m hoping that writing about them, along with the good days, will help me cope. And maybe it may help someone else as well. That would be a bonus.